Showing posts from July, 2014

Let the games begin!

For those who aren't up to speed, you might want to read this first:

Click here ->    Flinging poo for real!

Today is the liquid diet day. It is 9am and I already want a steak. I am starving, this does not bode well for the rest of the day. Clear broth for breakfast, mmm. Right up there with not winning the lottery.

Today is also Prep day. Preparation for appointment day. Prrrrrrep. Or better known as hurl everything you are into the toilet day. This starts later. I am looking forward to it for I may see stars.  Who doesn't want to lay unconscious on the commode whilst little gnomes fling out?


I'll give you 50$ for a brioche.

Let the poo flinging commence on Monday!

I'm sorry, what's that person on the phone? You want me to do what? That soon? Huh.


Here's the thing. I have anemia. My hemoglobin values are not getting better with time nor iron so my thorough doctor - let's read the word "thorough" again shall we? - thought to cover all bases and schedule a colonoscopy in case there is bleeding, ulcers, gnomes,...up in there.

Up in there. 

Up in there.

Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here... (DMX? Anyone?)

Did you know that with a supposedly socialized health care system one ought to be on a waiting list for these things? Nope, not my ass. They called yesterday and wanted it done this Friday. Friday? I can't possibly, that is the 4th of July!! Johnny Depp is American, surely this excuses me from hell? 

So Tuesday it is. 

The Google told me there is a "prep" day beforehand? Nice word. Prep. Sounds so innocent and perky. Let's face it, I'll be flinging poo. Irony. 

The hospit…