Let the poo flinging commence on Monday!

I'm sorry, what's that person on the phone? You want me to do what? That soon? Huh.

Faints.

Here's the thing. I have anemia. My hemoglobin values are not getting better with time nor iron so my thorough doctor - let's read the word "thorough" again shall we? - thought to cover all bases and schedule a colonoscopy in case there is bleeding, ulcers, gnomes,...up in there.

Up in there. 

Up in there.

Y'all gon' make me lose my mind, up in here, up in here... (DMX? Anyone?)

Did you know that with a supposedly socialized health care system one ought to be on a waiting list for these things? Nope, not my ass. They called yesterday and wanted it done this Friday. Friday? I can't possibly, that is the 4th of July!! Johnny Depp is American, surely this excuses me from hell? 

So Tuesday it is. 

The Google told me there is a "prep" day beforehand? Nice word. Prep. Sounds so innocent and perky. Let's face it, I'll be flinging poo. Irony. 

The hospital has faxed my Prep instructions to my local pharmacy. I will be getting them today. Or not. 

Maybe I will get lost and have to turn in circles in my driveway instead. 

I feel pretty, oh so pretty...


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