Who was that person?

January, the month of de-cluttering. Or maybe the month of watching one too many shows about closet organization. Also, how in the world is the word hoarder now a thing? And why do those shows always have a poop shot in them?

"Yes no-teeth-Ethel we are making a donation, a keep, and a give away pile and found, gasp, after 43 years of not cleaning, RAT DROPPINGS!!"" - cut to shot of poop - cue the Shining music. ARGH!!!!

This found me in the basement calmly getting rid of some boxes. Calmly, in this case, means sprinting so fast the Dalmatian was in the rear. I have all my teeth still, so off I go.

Spring is coming, don't want to be caught amidst flood season with too much stuff down there - Now the goal I set was 5 or 6 carton boxes for the next hour. HA HA! I am so naive. 1 box and several hours later of me sitting on the floor drooling and leaving me wondering was this really my box?

Apparently I was a romance novel, cat loving person who collected Bionic Woman comic books. I still love cats, just not enough to be subscribed to 27 magazines about them. I still love romance novels, if by romance novels one means vampire porn, then yes, but still.

In the box, I have one that has Fabio on the cover. FABIO!



Fabio and the Bionic Woman would make pretty long haired strong babies.

She could just pop them out like kittens.

Comments

stivafan said…
Hugely hilarious!
19 January 2012 at 03:08
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Tale of The Pandemic Rodent with A New Cast of Characters.

Image
I know, it has been a while. How. How are you still reading this blog over the years? You are wonderful, thanks. Or you need a life. Either way, yay! How is your Covid coming along? Unexpected wasn't it? Unless you are a epidemiologist, then you've known for years so stop showing off with your silly science. Now back to the tale. Do you guys remember the video about that family in Ireland with a loose bat in their kitchen? No? Here is the link, I'll wait: IRISH FAMILY WITH LOOSE BAT IN KITCHEN Hysterical yes? I am Irish as well, added bonus is me quoting this video, accent included, since its inception. During the ongoing epidemic we have temporarily moved in our elderly neighbour, originally from Belfast. She also happened to have given birth to me and was accompanied by The Anti Christ, aka her little dog. She's a cute Satan yes? She's actually highly trainable. After a month of pig headedness and constant supervision by me, she now sits on he
Read more

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Image
I paid a professional to murder my heart on four legs. I understand they do not call it murder at the vet clinic. I understand that it isn't murder. I did what was best. The humane thing to do. I get it but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what to wear to a killing. I mean should I wear a poncho whilst chewing tobacco à la Clint Eastwood in one of those western movies? Or maybe a black veil and giant crucifix since the funeral and viewing of the body happens straight after? If only I spoke Italian, I would wail my sorrow loudly to make sure the Italian deity could hear me and let me have a place in the Italian heaven, because pasta. Now dear readers you are wondering if I have finally gone off the deep end. Is she that callous to make light of such a sad and horrible time? Did she not love that poor soul? The answer is whatever you want it to be get your own blog. Wait that was rude...You see Humphrey was (I just typed the word 'was' and may have vomited
Read more

He's just a dog.

Image
I call this:  "Plaid Dalmatian On Mosaic" 15 years on Earth that one.  15 years he has given me myself. He has taught me so much. Sure he taught me all about dog stuff, whatever, but mostly he taught me how to live. How to love. How to be free. How low self esteem is made up human garbage because to him, the sun rises and sets with me. To him, I am love. To him, I can do no wrong. The egg cracked and he imprinted on me. He chose me. Go figure. For 15 years I have tried to live up to what this creature sees in me. I crawled out of my safe cocoon and drove alone in blinding snow late at night to get to his classes in the middle of nowhere. I drove to different locations pre GPS to get him to race practices. I am geographically challenged people! I learned how to knit because he needed a sweater. I had to make friends with literally hundreds of people who have the same breed. PEOPLE! Yakking at me everyday. What is this world coming to? He begat The Mute Deer Goat
Read more