Introducing the Dalmatian. Part 1.

This is his eyeball. It's the one he picked me with. 





This is the view he eyeballs from my Nanny's chair.






Just so we're clear. 








Some people need their eyeballs checked.

4 times. 



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

2011, a learning curve.

Image
2011 has taught me a lot. I mean tons. I mean I am standing here near its end and I do not need to learn one more single thing. Nope, I'm full thanks. I'm actually scared of typing that, I'm sure the roof will cave in or my neck will crack a certain way and I'll be leaning over gumby-ish for the rest of my days and then where would I be?  I'm not that bendy. If you have been following this blog, you all remember the biblical flood from April to June, you know the whole 70 days of this mayhem: Not that those waves were crashing against my house, that would be insane....Oh wait. No what would be insane is to not evacuate and fight to save the house, who does that? But actually the year started with a whiz banger of a bang in January. For instance, a person learning he has cancer of the liver at noon then passes away at 11:30pm same day - who does that?  SURPRISE! Then who does this, 3 days later, in front of a hundred people at his funeral and doesn't...
Read more

How Jaysus met his maker. Part 1.

Image
What? This is a perfectly normal photo. Oh, the story attached to it? Yes, I see your point. Well, it all started over a year ago, the best set-ups do. Near my home there was a 6ft giant metal shark as a business front ornament for a gas station. You know, nothing says gas like a shark, frankly eHarmony was certainly involved, so perfect the match. I drove directly into their parking lot hearing angels in my head, or that could have been the people I ran over. I stood there gob smacked, grinning.  It's on metal posts 6ft in the air, sexy subtle. I wasn't really hugging it, I was trying to see if I could budge it more than a centimeter. Then a thought occurred to me that my actions could be interpreted as stealing, and after running over those people, I may be in trouble. "Not for sale" gas station man said when I offered to buy it.  He had to repeat himself apparently I had gone deaf. Back at home Johnny Depp laughed at my description, but od...
Read more

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.

Image
I paid a professional to murder my heart on four legs. I understand they do not call it murder at the vet clinic. I understand that it isn't murder. I did what was best. The humane thing to do. I get it but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what to wear to a killing. I mean should I wear a poncho whilst chewing tobacco à la Clint Eastwood in one of those western movies? Or maybe a black veil and giant crucifix since the funeral and viewing of the body happens straight after? If only I spoke Italian, I would wail my sorrow loudly to make sure the Italian deity could hear me and let me have a place in the Italian heaven, because pasta. Now dear readers you are wondering if I have finally gone off the deep end. Is she that callous to make light of such a sad and horrible time? Did she not love that poor soul? The answer is whatever you want it to be get your own blog. Wait that was rude...You see Humphrey was (I just typed the word 'was' and may have vomited...
Read more