How Jaysus met his maker. Part 4.

Now the family and friends started rallying after seeing videos of my flood predicament. Because let's face it, when you make the 6 o'clock news, every single day for 70 days, your loved ones start to get a little antsy, if not down right apoplectic. The variety of encouragement was no greater than the people I hang with. The local tribe, seeing me stranded and not a thing they could do to help, were calling me frequently and offering all sorts of refugee perks, this was a beautiful gesture.  Of course they figured out not to call me on the 110km windy 5ft waves days, my fears so grand, I could only blink in Morse code. You need video chat for that shit.

So the online connected tribe decided to chip in with their own versions of help. Aube, for instance, who loves 80's music, would send me metal hair band videos. I am so happy for her. I am happy she lives far away since I could not canoe to her house and smack her with an oar. Two oars. The pointy ends. I know oars are not pointy, but I have time. Days and days worth of repetitive lyrics in my head. She calls them ear worms. This is very insulting to worms. Upon hearing my, shall we say, tentative dislike of these videos, she informed me that I am in her will and shall inherit her loud screeching birds. I had no idea she loved me so much, I am touched really. Mmm, chicken.

Then, Allie Smith (fictional name), who has a penchant for beauty challenged lawn ornaments and bra-less mermaids (I didn't ask), sent me this FUNNY!  (click on the word funny) Best. Knock. Knock. Joke. Ever. A feeding frenzy ensued, my tribe was in hysterics, we all fell in love with The Bloggess. Hilarity chip activated. I am ever so grateful.

After all our changed underwears, I happen to mention my own story of the for sale shark and what a funny parallel that my Johnny didn't want that shark either to Pixarian (Johnny Depp's sister.)  I could tell by the way her head spun off its axis that she needed me to get that shark. By any means necessary. Hell, we all needed me to get that shark. Pixarian reminded me that Johnny was going to California for a week for a film called "The Beach House" and I needed to reel that bad boy. Word got out, the people, they needed shark. I went hunting, camera at the ready, cash in my pocket....

He could not be more magnificent....


Anonymous said…

The birds are literally screaming for you right this moment!

They would look so cute in the mouth of that shark. PHOTO OP! lol

stivafan said…
LMAO! What happens when JD leaves?

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