Is 4am an actual time?

Aside from bouts of insomnia recently, where it is wiser to not check the time, I just assumed there is 11pm then 7am, that's all I know. 4am, really? Who knew?

I jolted out of bed, bleary eyed just missing the door jam, upon hearing a sound that evolution has put upon women's ears; a high pitched whine coming from the canine. Men can't hear high pitched whines. Not even perfect Depps. The canine was also making another sound. The sound of "hey this is a great time to up chuck the grass I ate earlier, and I will sully the entirety of my bed, woot."  Whine. Whine. He whines so that I open the door outside. He prefers to hurl outside! What a good boy. He prefers it since it's what I taught him to do. What a good girl.

Well apparently everyone is awake at this imaginary 4am. Even skunks, and then, by default, neighbours. Boy, the screams were right up there with a pot of coffee smacking across the face wake the hell up y'all. Screams? Well, there was me, Humphrey then JD and I'm pretty sure the skunk.

In case anyone was wondering, an almost 10 year old whippet can still levitate off the porch and hurl himself through the air Matrix-like while aiming for the neck 15 ft away. Perfect landing. I gave it a 10.

SKUNK!

One that somehow found its way INSIDE a completely fenced off potty park. I think it came with the flood as a seed and sprouted after a recent rain. Or maybe it dropped from the Irene. Or maybe the Jaysus mafia hurled it over the fence.

Guess how you pull a murderous whippet off a skunk? Anything? I was hoping you had the answer. Well smacking the railing of the porch so the now blinded, by eau de skunk eyes, whippet can find you is key. Did I mention the neighbours were awake now? I am awesome.

HUMPHREY COME IN THE HOUSE NOW!!!

HUMPHREY GET OUT OF THE HOUSE NOW!!!

Holy Mother of all Things Holy I thought there was an actual skunk in the tub after. Rinsing wee little canine eyes out at 4am, and having H look up at us with such gratefulness, well, it makes up for....No, no it doesn't.

Also, apparently Johnny had to go into work "early" all of a sudden. Weird huh?

Sigh.

Left on my machine last night, 3 days post skunk war, from my Mum:
"You better be careful dear, I took a walk on the road in front of your house, it smells like a skunk is near by, so watch out." 



We may need to move.

Or at the very least burn the house down and rebuild.

We've been odor raped.

Comments

stivafan said…
At least the skunkiness has dissipated by now, right?

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